Please consider making a donation to Silent Rights to enable us to keep helping victims of abuse and violence. You can make a donation through paypal here.
Why is evidence so important?
First and foremost having evidence is essential when you need to either open a case against an abuser or defend yourself and/or claims.
You will need evidence for:
- Your lawyer.
- To open a case.
- To file for protection.
- In the event of an investigation either by law enforcement or for custody negotiations or legal enforcement.
By keeping evidence of everything you have the opportunity to use it when you need it.
What is considered evidence?
Everything!
Every.Single.Thing.
ENo matter how insignificant it might seem at the time, it might be a build up to something bigger.
How to collect evidence:
Keeping records of everything by:
- Taking photos of every mark or bruise as a result from physical abuse.
- Taking photos of anything damaged or broken as a result of physical intimidation or abuse.
- Recording calls and interactions with the abuser.
- Screenshots of calls and messages.
- Exports of conversations.
- Keeping a diary of all conversations, events and incidents.
- Keeping and printing all correspondence in case your device is either hacked or crashes.
- Documenting the OB number from police every time you need to either call for assistance or report anything to them.
- Making an affidavit after an event or incident where you, for whatever reason, did not call the police or report it to them.
By keeping evidence of everything you have the opportunity to use it when you need it.
Being prepared gives you peace of mind.
When I was in court for my protection order hearing, this is what I learnt:
Video/Recorded evidence:
Any recording or video submitted needs to be authenticated by a professional or it can’t be used! This is in accordance with the Electronic Communication Act.
*My recordings of the abusive incidents were the base of my evidence but could not to be used.
Witness statements:
All supporting witness statements must be stamped and signed by a commissioner of oaths, or they cannot be used or considered by the court.
*None of my supporting witness statements were commissioned when I filed my original application due to the urgency of my application.
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Proving a pattern:
The court only considers evidence that is a clear violation of the Domestic Violence Act, and you need to be able to show a pattern of each violation, it is vital that this is submitted in your initial application.
You cannot provide any additional evidence unless the court formally requests it.
Even evidence of cases that were opened for violating the interim protection order would not be considered as the court did not request additional evidence and therefore was not accepted.
^^ It is vital that every victim understands the Domestic Violence Act and what constitutes abuse as well as all the forms of each violation- eg: What does harassment include, what all is considered emotional abuse, what is physical abuse, etc. So that your application and evidence clearly displays this.
Applicant or Respondent?
I never expected to be treated like I was on trial.
I was thoroughly questioned by the Magistrate, and the Respondent’s attorney tried to rip my character apart, questioned my motives and made very defamatory statements about me and my application.
The respondent was not questioned at all. His attorney merely had to respond to my statements, which was more of an attack on me than a defence on his client’s abusive behaviour!
They really play victim:
In court I learned that the abuser tried to apply for a protection order against me but it was declined. His whole defence was that he is a victim, and to get all my evidence thrown out of court!
A Narcissist sees no wrong in their behaviour, they really believe they are the victims, and they will try prove this in any way possible!
It is so important that we are aware of what we say and do when dealing with abusers, they will use anything and everything they can against you to make themselves look like the victim.
^^ When you are forced to communicate with an abuser always remember that anything you say can and will be used against you! Keep this in mind ALWAYS!
Conclusion:
I realised my original application for protection was severely flawed and almost all of my evidence was unable to be used. Although I was awarded with a Permanent Protection Order, I almost wasn’t!
The only way I managed to get my permanent order was by using his opposing statement. He was so set on justifying his abusive behaviour and claiming to be a victim that he admitted to being abusive.
If you are looking to apply for a protection order or are currently going through the process, please reach out, let us help you so that you get it right! So that you are prepared on what to expect and how to get through it.
Please consider making a donation to Silent Rights to enable us to keep helping victims of abuse and violence. You can make a donation through paypal here.
Read more blog posts:
- Why an Abuser Will Do Whatever It Takes to Sabotage You
- The Myth of the Overworked Narcissist
- Why Narcissists Always Bring Up the Past
- You Are Not Crazy, Your Self-Worth is Inherent
- What Happens When You Treat a Narcissist the Way They Treat You?
- Discarding the Narcissist vs. Being Discarded by the Narcissist
- What Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Need to Know
- Why the Silent Treatment is the Best Way to Starve a Narcissist
- Love Bombing: Recognizing the Signs and Protecting Your Heart
- Preventing Teen Dating Violence: Education and Awareness
- Recognizing and Avoiding One-Sided Relationships
- Intersectionality and Abuse: Addressing the Unique Challenges Faced by Different Communities
- Nurturing Emotional Intelligence: Managing Aggression in Children
- The Role of Therapy and Counseling in Recovery from Abuse and Violence
- Protecting Against Digital Abuse
- When Your Adult Child Becomes an Abuser
- Oppose all forms of child abuse：The rights and interests of children are inviolable
- Identifying Narcissistic Behavior
- The Manipulative Web of Abusers: How They Use Everything and Everyone to Break You Down
- The Painful Reality: How Abusers Weaponize Children in Custody Battles
- Supporting a Loved One in an Abusive Relationship: A Guide to Providing Help
- The Importance of Planning for Your Future After Abuse
- How Talking About Your Abuse Can Help You Heal
- Harnessing the Healing Power of Affirmations with Action After Abuse
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- Recognizing the Signs: Identifying Domestic Abuse Patterns
- Navigating Parenthood Together: Understanding Parallel Parenting and Coparenting
- Do You Know Your Marriage Regime?
- Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Confidence: Tools and Techniques for Women after Abuse
- The Devastating Effects of Domestic Abuse on Victims and Their Children
- Betrayal and Healing: The Impact of Infidelity on Wives, Families, and Relationships
- Cybercrime and Domestic Violence
- Understanding Domestic Abuse
- Holding Your Abuser Accountable: The Importance of Opening a Case and Applying for a Protection Order
- Breaking the Silence: Confronting Gender-Based Violence Head-On
- The Power of Healing Quotes: Words that Mend the Soul
- Harnessing the Power of Affirmations for Healing from Abuse
- Navigating the Path to Love: Starting Dating After Experiencing Abuse
- Explaining to Your Child Why You Aren’t with an Abusive Parent: A Guide to Nurturing Understanding and Healing
- Processing Anger After Experiencing an Abusive Relationship
- Navigating Coparenting with an Abuser
- How to Deal with Narcissistic Family Members
- Escaping the Darkness: Planning Your Exit Strategy in an Abusive Relationship
- The Road to Healing: Processing Trauma and Building Resilience after Abuse
- From Victim to Survivor: Embracing a New Identity
- Parenting through Healing
- Recognizing Red Flags: Safeguarding Yourself from Toxic Relationships
- Love After Abuse: Healthy Relationships and Red Flags
