This post explores the reasons why a narcissistic abuser will go to great lengths to hurt, sabotage, and destroy aspects of your life—including your happiness, friendships, and career.

If you’ve ever had a close relationship with a narcissist, you may be all too familiar with the phrase, “I’m sooo busy.” Whether it’s “Let me see if I can fit you into my busy schedule” or “I’m so tired, I work and work,” their constant complaints about how exhausted they are can be draining—especially when you know how little they actually do.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone where no matter what you’ve done or how much you’ve grown, they always find a way to throw your past mistakes in your face? You’re not alone. Narcissists are masters at bringing up the past, especially when it serves their agenda of making you feel bad, inadequate, or undeserving. This behavior isn’t random or accidental—it’s a carefully constructed tactic they use to maintain control and make you doubt yourself.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing touch with yourself and the world around you. Narcissists are adept at creating confusion, manipulating perceptions, and warping your sense of reality. But here’s what you need to know—you’re not crazy, and the chaos they created was deliberate. Understanding the effects of narcissistic abuse can help you make sense of what you’ve experienced and start reclaiming your identity.

When you find yourself entangled with a narcissist—whether in a personal relationship, friendship, or workplace—interactions can be emotionally draining and even destructive. Narcissists tend to treat others with manipulation, belittling behavior, and emotional disregard. But what happens if you decide to mirror their behavior and treat them the way they treat you? Let’s break it down.

At some point, you may find yourself at a crossroads: deciding whether to discard the narcissist or, more painfully, being discarded by them. Both experiences can be profoundly damaging, but the emotional fallout and the dynamics differ depending on who is in control of the final decision.

It’s critical to understand that narcissistic abuse is not your fault, and you don’t deserve the pain or confusion that comes with it. If you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, here are some essential things you should know:

Recognizing narcissistic behavior is essential for women (and anyone) to maintain healthy relationships and protect their well-being. It's important to remember that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not all individuals who exhibit these traits are narcissists.

Parenting is hard work. Co-parenting can be even more daunting. Co-parenting with someone who has a full-blown personality disorder is extremely challenging. They are often inflexible, defensive, and manage the situation in unhealthy ways, it may feel near impossible at times.

Gaslighting is a difficult aspect of emotional health. Probably the most common and easiest way to think about gaslighting is when you are psychologically manipulated by someone to question your own sanity.